damn. typed the whole post, clicked "publish post", then they said i have not log in yet. so i have to re-type this whole post again-.-

chinese o level.
slept at 10pm yesterday, woke up at 6.40am today.
and i was so reluctant to wake up today.

mother wished me good luck yesterday and called me after my papers to ask me how was it.
father went to office later than usual this morning just to escort me to the bridge there to make sure i am not late for school.
the first time, when i can actually feel my parents' concern for me.

i think i had screwed the papers up though.
spent the first half an hour writing rubbish during paper 1, i even cancelled one whole page-.-
the funny thing is that once chinese o level ended, we started shooting at each other with chinese idioms.

went cp with avril, mindy, rowena, sharmaine, shi han and teresa.
the grizzy bear was annoying, as usual.
chatted. laughed out loud.
talked about the past. realise i had no sense of humour and was very anti-social when i was in primary six. sharmaine even said that the only time we talked to each other properly was when we received our psle results, i said i would be getting into sjc, when we were classmates for two years and she sat very near me in class.
guess no one will actually think that the same grace you see four years later, is so crappy that you can't stand her at times.
haha.

mindy and rowena left.
did emath.
4 sets of emath papers to be handed in on friday.
hmm..
avril, sharmaine and teresa left at 4.30pm.
so the only people left were shi han and i, occupying a six-seater table.
shi han even ate an ice-cream when she's already freezing.
my heart literally hurts.
gave up on doing emath and started stoning.
bought stuffs, then went home at 6.30pm.

board 80 then started stoning. then some bright yellow flowery shorts [it's nice though!] caught my eyes before that person went down the stairs. turned. saw avril.
haha. called her on the phone to be sure that it's her.
we didn't even notice each other when she board the bus. hah.
so we were talking halfway, suddenly there's silence, then i was put on hold. when i'm no longer on hold, the person, who was a male, had a quite matured yet coarse voice said "hello hello". i hung the phone. sms-ed avril, she called me and told me the same thing happened to her as well and she was wondering since when my voice was so low.
haha. weird.


the first thing i saw when i came online was your nickname. you don't know how much i feel like murdering you, for causing the state i was in.

i often tell myself that i should forgive and forget. not just once, but many times.
but it just seems easier to say than to carry it out.


---

when you don't have it, you want it.
when you got that something, you fear of losing it.
the fear of losing it will result in losing even more.